The Family Equality Council is among several advocacy organizations backing a federal fix: the Every Child Deserves a Family Act. So in those cases, the child only has a legal relationship with one parent."
She explains, "Even in places where they don't encounter bias or stigma outright, if there's a same-sex couple that wants to create a family in a state where it's not statutorily mandated-if it's not written into the law that unmarried couples can petition to jointly adopt children-only one of those people can adopt the child. The lack of legal protections are often to blame. Emily Hecht-McGowan of the Family Equality Council says her organization receives frequent requests for help from same-sex couples seeking to adopt. A handful of other states have effectively blocked such adoption using less direct language, such as Utah's prohibition of adoption by anyone cohabiting outside a legally valid marriage. Mississippi enacted a law in 2000, still standing, that forbids joint adoption by same-sex couples. A 1977 law in Florida that stood for more than 30 years expressly forbade any homosexual person from adopting a child. Most states lack legal protections to guard against favoring heterosexual parents over gays and lesbians in adoption and foster care placements, and the landscape has historically been unfriendly toward same-sex couples as parents.
But gay couples trying to adopt children learn that both legal and cultural impediments still exist. Supreme Court has ruled that gay married couples cannot be denied federal benefits. Thirteen states have legalized it, and the U.S. Says George, "There are those moments where you slow down and you start thinking, 'When is this going to happen? What's wrong with us?'"Ī Washington Post/ABC poll conducted in March found that 70 percent of adults under age 40 support gay marriage. Some have captions that repeat a phrase: We can't wait to bring our child to watch the Nats play in person! We can't wait to bring a little one here to sled! We can't wait to enjoy family days at our local museums! A portrait is painted of a quaint childhood: watching the backyard bunnies eat up the spring's black-eyed Susans or swinging on a tree that the neighborhood kids call "Napoleon."Īs the sixth year of their journey begins, the men are still waiting. At least twice a week since they started the Facebook page "Chad and Mike's Open Adoption," the couple posts a new photograph to illustrate their lives. Another way has been to work on the one task that might hasten the day they become fathers: trying to attract the notice of a birthmother who will choose them to parent her child. Preparing these rooms has been one way for George, SAIS '03, and Lord to busy themselves as they wait for an infant.
The other is "Grandma's apartment," a basement unit the couple built for George's mother, who intends to move in when a baby arrives. Two spaces in their home sit unused: One is a nursery, fully furnished.